The Feminine Analysis of Tenten
by Authentically Yours
Summary: Neji's required to ask women a few questions for a survey from Tsunade. Later that day, he ends up asking Tenten the very same questions...Hilarious, albeit embarrassing for both of them. NejiTen, Neji MAY be OOC, slight AU, ONESHOT.


TSLM: This fic is a result of me being _very _pissed after a Halloween night.

Though, I hope this is more lighthearted and happier for you guys!

There _WILL _be major OOC-ness for Neji, since the chances of him asking these questions are impossible, unless he's either high or drunk. This fic's kinda in an AU but anyways, moving on…

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto (though I do own this conversation, played out from my head!)

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"You're _kidding _me."

"I'm not, and you're being ridiculous, just answer the question."

"Why are you even asking me this?!"

"Tsunade-sama requested it as a survey."

"I'm guessing you were the only one she thought of who could pull this off with a straight face, _or _to turn all the women on so they'd give their answers?"

"Hn…"

Tenten was furious, basically almost everything in her personal life was being revealed due to a **survey. **She saw absolutely no purpose in it in the first place, and what were to happen with the results?! She had rights! Freedom of speech and all that…

"I'm asking you again," Neji repeated through clenched teeth,"where do you purchase your undergarments from?"

"Hell if you'll ever know!"

"Answer the damn question before I put down _Victoria's Secret…"_

"…Target."

Neji simply wrote down the store name on the pamphlet in front of him, keeping Tenten anonymous, as it was required from Tsunade's instructions.

"Congratulations, you match up with about five percent of the rest of Konoha."

"And the other 95 percent?"

"50 percent, Victoria's Secret, and 45 percent is just spread out into random department stores or 'other'."

Tenten huffed, "Anymore questions?"

"Actually yes, do you own any cosmetics?"

Tenten stifled a laugh, a grin on face steadily growing.

"What?"

Tenten just grinned at Neji, saying nothing.

"_Tenten."_

"Do you have any idea…"

"Yes…?"

"…how _gay _you sound right now? It's like you're working for Avon or something…"

Of course, Neji glared at Tenten, signaling her to shut up as her giggles began to cease.

"Chill out, I was just playing along, and anyways to answer your question, yes, I do own cosmetics, though basically it's down to lip gloss."

"That's it?"

Tenten nodded.

"Do you know the brand name?"

"Er, the sticker kinda peeled off a while ago, so I don't remember…"

Neji simply rolled his eyes as he wrote down her answer.

"…You barely rank under two percent; almost every other woman in Konoha own something more than lip gloss."

"Well screw them; they're materialistic pigs who think applying powdered crap on their faces makes them beautiful, they must be pretty stupid."

Neji just smirked with Tenten's answer. Why? It was just so…_Tenten._

Tenten couldn't figure out if Neji's bloodstream was working at all, because he wasn't blushing at all while asking this,

"Have you ever used birth control?"

Tenten snorted, "For what?"

Neji rolled his eyes, clearly uncomfortable, "I don't know, er…shorter periods…swimming?"

"Isn't that why tampons were invented?"

"So I'll take that as a no?"

"Please do."

Neji quickly wrote down her answer, not adding on to his embarrassing predicament.

"Anything else, Mr. Avon-Representative?"

"Yeah, what's your bra size?"

"…How much is Tsunade _paying _you..?"

Neji ignored Tenten's incredulous comment, repeating his question,

"Well, what is it?"

"34 B"

Neji, doing the absolutely most _wrong _thing to do after asking a girl her bra size, raised his eyebrow in a questioning manner while attempting to keep his gaze from going anywhere below the neckline.

"What? Not big enough for you, Neji-_kun_?"

Neji gave his most solemn answer that saved him in the most dangerous situations.

"Hn."

"I believe you have more questions?"

"Yeah, how long have you had that bra size?"

"Since I was about 14 or 15, nothing special."

Neji noted this on his pamphlet.

"And my scores?"

"You match up with about 10 percent of 17 year old women in Konoha."

"What, did the rest of them get boob jobs at the age of 15?"

"Actually yeah, or they just have naturally big breasts, I don't know."

Tenten barely realized that this would be the only time she'd hear Neji use the words "breast", "period", "bra", "lip gloss", "birth control" or "Victoria's Secret" in one conversation, ever.

"Fortunately, I'm finished, so I'll be dropping this off at Tsunade's office, and then we'll spar."

"How bout we do something a little more low key?"

"…What?"

The chances of Tenten turning down a spar never happened, not if Neji asked her, so you could simply picture the surprise evident in his voice.

"Neji, please, if you've asked about my bra, period, underwear, and make up in one conversation, you entitle me to a date."

"It was hardly a conversation…"

"To any woman, it would be."

Neji realized how screwed he was if he said no, but he almost felt light hearted about it, as if he knew nothing bad could come out of it.

"So, dinner, movie, walk in the park?"

"…sounds reasonable."

Tenten grinned,

"Good, pick me up at 7 later tonight, and you're paying."

The prodigy smirked and didn't even argue along with the weapons mistress with her requirements.

"Hn."

"See you later tonight!"

Tenten then left Neji behind, walking calmly back to her home, though later that night, you could see two people upon the horizon, hand in hand.

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TSLM: Kinda short-ish., but in my opinion, successful, reviews would be nice, but making you guys laugh is all I wanted to do! Hehe. 


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